Warm Wishes
A Very Foxcraft Christmas
A very merry Christmas to all of you.
Wandering Stars
for whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever. (Jude 1:12-13)
A Letter Unsent
How often do we express ourselves with the written word, only to hesitate sending it to the person for whom it was written? There are so many obstacles to overcome — the fear of misinterpretation, of hovering or smothering, of not saying the right thing.
I’ve been struggling with words lately, and that terrifies me. Who am I without my words? I’ve put so much stock into expressing myself verbally that when I’m blocked or stumbling, I almost drown in the swelling fear of losing what makes me who I am.
Just who am I, anyway?
Maybe this is a sign. Perhaps a temporary vow of silence is in order.
Writing.
I’m in the mood to bring some characters back from the dead.
Life: Standing Still. I’m cursed.
When did this happen?
When did the majority of the people I know get married and/or have children? When did everyone suddenly find their other half and spawn genetic replicas of each other? Sweet Jesus.
Facebook is depressing now. What used to be a great place to reconnect, play games, and stalk has now become an image gallery of lovers and infants. It seems that every profile picture I come across is either (1) the happy couple and/or (2) a sonogram or an infant. WTF?
Sorry about that “WTF,” but, in times such as these, I felt it was necessary.
I really shouldn’t complain. Being “a lone wolf” (that sounds so ridiculous) has its perks: I can travel whenever I want without worrying about financial obligations to a family or about who I’m leaving behind; I went to school twice without worry about school money making my family poor or about neglecting anyone; and I can play video games, visit friends, watch movies, and do other frivolous things without neglecting my children. Also, I can write my damn book (if I ever get out of this writer’s block funk).
So what’s the problem?
Well, I’d like to think that the reason behind this post was that I just saw a Facebook profile picture of a sonogram, the man’s second child, but the true catalyst was the dream I had last night. I was trying on a wedding dress. For my wedding. I don’t know who the lucky man was, but I remember someone zipping me up in the back and turning around to see the most beautiful dress I’d ever seen fit me like a glove. I was beautiful.
I’m not a huge fan of weddings. I know women say that without really meaning it, but I do. Weddings are too large and complicated. I’d much rather have a small gathering of friends and family and make it much more intimate. I don’t want to get married in a church but outside. I want a beautiful dress, true, but nothing elaborate that is reminiscent of Princess Di (minus the fact that she was married in the 80s, and that dress screamed the decade loud and proud). I only want the promise of someone wanting me as much as I want him and the desire to spend life together until the day we die.
I’m not eager to have children. As a point of fact, motherhood terrifies me. That may be due to the absence of a man with whom I can see myself having children and who would make a great father, but, as it stands, my view remains. Children are cute and wonderful, but I’m definitely not ready for that step in life.
This morning, I visited dreammoods.com to help with the wedding dress fiasco, and this is what I found:
Wedding Dress: To wear a wedding dress in your dream, indicates that you are evaluating and assessing your personal relationship.
What personal relationship? The one that I have with myself? In that case, here’s what the same website says about that:
To dream that you are planning your own wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side. Two previously conflicting aspects are merging together as one.
You know, that could make sense if it weren’t somewhat absurd. Is there a rift inside of me that separates my masculine and feminine side? Is this dream symbolic of the union of those sides, therein eliminating my fear of patriarchy and forced motherhood, of loneliness and the absence of unconditional love? Is this dream telling me that my confusion about myself (the want of love but the fear of same) is about to be eliminated? Perhaps. Maybe I’m finally coming to terms with my perpetual solitude, and this dream is telling me that such a state of being is quite all right.
We’ll see.
Reunion Post.
It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted, so here’s a mini update to last until I get time to write something lengthy.
I’m revising book # 1 for the third time, and I have new agents to query. once I finish this next revising process, i will be sending some letters. I’ll post their rejections as soon as they’re received.
Ha.
First Steps as a Writer.
I received my first rejection letter. It was kindly written, almost as if she can see something in my query but she cannot, herself, pursue…at least that’s what you’re led to think. Notice below to whom this rejection is addressed:
Dear Author:
Thank you so much for sending the Nelson Literary Agency your query. We’d like to apologize for the impersonal nature of this standard rejection letter. Rest assured that we do read every query letter carefully and, unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Because this business is so subjective and opinions vary widely, we recommend that you pursue other agents. After all, it just takes one “yes” to find the right match.
All right. I’m Author. Nice to meet you. “Weird name,” you say? That’s what I thought, but my mother had a dream of me being published when I was incubating in the womb. What can I say? It would disappoint dear mother if I used a pen name.
OK. Sarcasm at 5:32 AM is only a little ridiculous. Only a little. Time does not hinder me, even when only half of my brain is responding to my caffeinated and sweetened morning coffee.
I consider this my first steps as a writer. My first rejection, which won’t certainly be the last, is giving me what I consider to be battle scars. Although this was sweetly written, it was still a big fat NO THANK YOU. All right, rejection letter. I’ll file you away and keep you safe for your buddies who are bound to join you, but you won’t get the best of this runner with wolves.
100 Things, Pt. 5: 5/5 — the finale
THIS IS THE LAST 100 THINGS POST!!! …at least for a while. I may just continue doing a “twenty things that I . . .” post every now and then. It’s way fun.
OK. This collection of twenty things, in conclusion of my 100 random facts about me series, concerns movies.
God, I love movies.
I consider myself a cinephile, and I’m forcing myself to branch out and see things that I wouldn’t normally see (especially if the film contains suggestive material) simply because there are some great movies out there just waiting to be enjoyed! That’s why God gave us the Fast-Forward button the remote, right? Here, here!
So now the list. These twenty films extend from my childhood and into my present. Some are new. Some are really old. Some are just plain random. At any rate, these are the movies that I will want to watch for no reason at all, given that I have the proper amount of time free to enjoy a motion picture. I love these movies, and they love me back.
1. Say Anything.
You all knew this would be first. Say Anything is the movie that (1) made me love John Cusack, (2) made me love Peter Gabriel, and (3) made me love Cameron Crowe. Ever since this movie, Cameron Crowe has become my favorite director. I love his movies (even Singles and Vanilla Sky). I can’t get enough. He has a gift with showing humanity in simplicity and reality. You’ll find several other Crowe films on this list.
“I”m looking for a dare-to-be-great situation.”
—
“I gave her my heart. She gave me a pen.”
—
“Don’t be a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don’t be a guy.”
—
“This rain on my car is a baptism. My assault on the world begins now.”
—
~*~
2. Grosse Pointe Blank.
I think the reason I love this movie isn’t its 80s music or because John Cusack stars in it (well, OK. Maybe a little). What I love about this movie is its humor–it’s smart humor! John Cusack as a professional killer is a great way to make a movie simply because he doesn’t really seem the type to kill the president of Paraguay with a fork. Also, just like Say Anything, pens become meaningful.
“Where are all the good men dead–in the heart or in the head?”
—
“So what do you do for a living, Martin?”
“I’m a professional killer.”
“Oh, do you get dental with that?”
—
~*~
3. The Godfather
OF COURSE THIS IS ON MY LIST! I freaking love this movie. Stellar performances from Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Robert Duvall, James Caan–my God! I honestly couldn’t move from my seat the first time I watched this. For nearly three hours of my life, I sat motionless, completely engrossed in the goings-on of the Corleone family.
“Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your home on the wedding day of your daughter. And may their first child be a masculine child.”
—
“Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”
—
“We go to the mattresses.”
—
~*~
4. Pride and Prejudice
Um. Duh. You all know how my affections for Matthew Macfadyen as Mr. Darcy force me to watch this movie over and over. I even like Kiera Knightley as Elizabeth. Seriously. When does that happen? It’s like Lois Lane–you always hate anyone who plays Lois Lane (partially because you really hate Lois Lane as a character) because they don’t seem to do it right. Well, Kiera Knightley does a fine job–perhaps due to the chemistry between her and Matthew. Oh, and I also downloaded the complete soundtrack from iTunes and listen to it in my car. I’m such a nerd.
“I can’t help thinking that at some point someone is going to produce a piglet and we’ll all have to chase it.”
—
“”I love you. Most ardently.”
—
“Well, if Jane does die, it will be a comfort to know she was in pursuit of Mr. Bingley.”
—
~*~
5. Donnie Darko
I still don’t think I’ve understood everything in this movie, and I don’t think I ever will. Nevertheless, I loved everything about this–the creep factor, the constant “What the hell’s going on?” and, ultimately, the happy/sad/what? ending. The ending reminded me of David Lynch’s Blue Velvet in theme–the bright, pretty face of suburbia is simply that–a face. Underneath is a seedy underbelly filled with all sorts of nastiness.
“First of all, Papa Smurf didn’t create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel’s evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn’t happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don’t even have… reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It’s just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what’s the point of living… if you don’t have a dick?”
—
“Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?”
—
“28 days… 6 hours… 42 minutes… 12 seconds. That… is when the world… will end.”
—
“Donnie Darko? What the hell kind of name is that? It’s like some sort of superhero or something.”
“What makes you you think I’m not?”
—
WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE!
~*~
6. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Everything about all three of these films captures me every time I watch them. The cinematography, the writing, the direction–everything. My mom and I watch these movies every year at Christmas–one a day until Christmas Eve when we wrap up The Return of the King and then open presents, and I look forward to that tradition even in the summer! I can’t get enough. I find myself quoting these movies all the time–sometimes at appropriate intervals, others at completely random moments. <3
“Smaegol lied.”
—
“It comes in pints?! I’m getting one.”
—
“I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!”
—
“A red sun rises. Blood has been spilt this night.”
—
“The stars are veiled.”
—
“For Frodo.”
—
“Go back to the shadow!”
—
“Arise! Arise, Riders of Theoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered! A sword day… a red day… ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin and the world’s ending! Death!”
—
“Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!”
—
“I am no man!”
—
“I know your face.”
—
“I’m glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee, here at the end of all things.”
—
“Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow. The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. How did it come to this?”
—
*tear*
~*~
7. The Fall
First of all, Lee Pace is INCREDIBLE. There is friendship, betrayal, death, rebirth–all of it! The storytelling, the beautiful cinematography, the adorable little girl all captured me as I watched this film unfold. If you haven’t seen this movie, SEE IT. Netflix, Blockbuster, Best Buy–however you can get your hands on this movie. It is beautiful.
“Are you trying to save my soul?”
—
“All right. Close your eyes. What do you see?”
“Nothing.”
“Rub them. Can you see the stars?”
“Yes.”
—
“Why are you making everyone die?”
“Because everything dies.”
—
~*~
8. Tombstone
I’ve always loved this movie, ever since I was a kid. My aunt and I would watch it all the time a couple of years before she died from brain cancer, and I still laugh at the same lines that I find myself quoting every now and then. This has to be Val Kilmer’s best film role–he really does a great Doc Holliday. Also, this is the only film where I can tolerate Bill Paxton.
“I’m your Huckleberry.”
—
“Listen here, Mr. Kansas Law Dog. Law don’t go ’round here.”
—
“Why, Johnny Tyler! Madcap!”
—
“That’s GREAT!!!”
—
“In vino veritas.”
—
“You’re no daisy. You’re no daisy at all.”
—
~*~
9. Driving Lessons
This movie is so great on many levels: Rupert Grint’s excellent acting, Julie Walter’s superb personality, and the overall happy feeling I got from watching this movie. I enjoy British films, especially when they’re incredibly awkward (i.e. Robert Pattinson’s How To Be!!! Loved it in its awkwardness). Brilliant.
“You’re very angry, aren’t you? Don’t be. You’re still God’s gift. Every day God gives us a gift. What’s why we call it the present.”
“Fuck off, Sarah.”
—
“You may have noticed that Mr. Fincham has started dressing in my clothes. We must assume that this is part of his recovery.”
—
“The doctor said the only reason I survived is because I drive an economy car. God is truly a friend to the thrifty.”
—
~*~
10. A Goofy Movie
HOLY COW I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!! It’s so great in every aspect–great music, great fun, and a great story. This is another movie that I always quote. This movie introduced me to the Bee Gees, and I always wanted to go on a road trip.
“Mazuuuur! What’s up, bro?”
—
“You, Stacy! Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me, babaaaay!”
—
“Why are you doing this to me, Dad?”
“Because I don’t want you to end up in the electric chair!”
—
“Whooooo’s your favorite possuuuuum?”
“Lester!!!”
—
“You look just like I did at your age.”
“Please don’t say that, dad.”
—
“Yeah! Dance with her! Groove with her!”
—
“Powerline—the greatest rock start on the planet.”
—
~*~
11. Stardust
I loved this movie, and I loved its book! Neil Gaiman is a superb writer. I’m loving everything of his that I’m reading. And this movie is pretty close to the book with only a few real changes. I can just watch this movie anytime, anywhere, and not get sick of it. Plus Ben Barnes makes a cameo appearance at the beginning, so that’s DEFININTELY a treat for me! =P Aaaand Robert De Niro as a homosexual pirate captain is simply fantastic.
“It’s all right, Captain. We always knew you were a whoopsie.”
—
“I can’t believe your crew fell for that! And where in God’s name did you get that mannequin?”
—
“Would I be correct in thinking that you can neither see nor hear me? Then I’d like to tell you that you smell of pee. You look like the wrong end of a dog. And I swear, if I don’t get my Tristan back as he was, I’ll be your personal poltergeist!”
—
~*~
12. Snatch
This movie was so fun to watch! I think Brad Pitt earned a little bit more respect from me because of this movie. While the filming and action are all pretty great in this movie, the best part, in my opinion, are the quotes. Gut Ritchie is a pretty talented director, but his writers are the people responsible for the movie’s overall success. For example:
“My name is Turkish. Funny name for an Englishman, I know. My parents to be were on the same plane when it crashed. That’s how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash. That’s Tommy. He tells people he was named after a gun, but I know he was really named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.”
—
“No, Tommy. There’s a gun in your trousers. What’s a gun doing in your trousers?”
“It’s for protection.”
“Protection from what” ‘Zee Germans’?”
—
“I don’t like leaving my own country, Doug, and I especially don’t like leaving it for anything less then warm sandy beaches, and cocktails with little straw hats.”
—
~*~
13. The Fountain
HOLY COW THIS MOVIE’S INCREDIBLE. Aside from the fact that I’ll pretty much watch anything with Hugh Jackman, this movie really rocked my world. Dr. Buck’s Myth and Legend class came to life in this film. Sometimes I get the urge to watch it when I’m in the middle of work or something else, and I think about the beautiful story, the breathtaking cinematography, and the outstanding special effects. I seriously screamed out loud at the ending. I’m not even kidding. LOVE.
“Together we will live forever.”
—
“You pull me through time.”
—
“Our destiny is life!”
—
“I’m going to die!”
—
~*~
14. Real Genius
Ah hahaha! I freaking love this movie for its 80s nostalgia and for Val Kilmer’s smartass badass persona. So great! And John Gries is awesome as Laslo (he later becomes Napoleon’s Uncle Rico!!). I watched this movie every time it came on television until I broke down and bought my own DVD. Every 80s-themed movie marathon must include this film. Must. Mandatory. Oh, and Val Kilmer’s shirt = I HAVE TO HAVE IT. It’s online somewhere, I just know it. Birthday *wink wink*???
—
“Do you mind if I name my first child after you? ‘Dipshit Knight’ has a nice ring to it.”
—
“Oh, Kent, that is so unfair! And we were going to make you King of the Winter Carnival.”
—
“He said he didn’t feel like it. And I said, you’d better! And he said, or what? And I said, or else you’re gonna be in trouble. And he said jam it.”
“That’s a wonderful story, Bodie. I noticed you’ve stopped stuttering.”
“I’ve been giving myself shock treatments.”
“Up the voltage.”
—
~*~
15. The Truman Show
Oh, I love everything about this movie–it’s voyeurism pointing a finger to every reality show out there (except, of course, Deadliest Catch…) and how every actor does an incredible job in this film. Ed Harris is always great, in my book, but Jim Carrey really surprised me. I can’t imagine what it would be like to discover that the world you’ve known your entire life was built and constructed by one person in order to make a television show the first of its kind. I teach from this movie, and my students love it.
—
“We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented.”
—
“Cue the sun!”
—
“Good morning, and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!”
—
“For God’s sake, Chris! The whole world is watching. We can’t let him die in front of a live audience!”
“He was born in front of a live audience.”
—
~*~
16. Elizabethtown
Ah! This movie is so great!! Any Cameron Crowe film is worth my time, and Elizabethtown is no exception. Again, Cameron Crowe has a talent with showing humanity and people at their best, their worst, and in between. I never tire of his films, and I especially never tire of this movie. I love how the small town life is not mocked but praised in this movie and that family is more important than anything life throws at you. Sigh. So good.
—
“DID I MISS 60B!??!”
—
“I’m going to have to call you back.”
“Juts dial HELL and I’ll answer!”
—
“I’m impossible to forget but hard to remember.”
—
“Drew, it was real and it was great. And it was really great.”
—
“Men see things in a box, and women see them in a round room.”
—
~*~
17. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?
Oh, MAN! This has to be one of my top fave Depp movies. He’s fantastic, not to mention I don’t absolutely hate Leonardo DiCaprio in this movie (loved him in R+J, loved him in Titanic, haven’t really been a fan since). But this movie really ripped my heart out and showed it to me. Poor Gilbert. Poor everybody. The one part of the movie where I was a basket case was when Gilbert’s mother had to go to get Arthur, leaving the house to be seen for the first time in ages. And people whisper about her, stare at her–that really broke my heart. Gah! Freaking movies that make me cry!!!
—
“I love the sky. It’s so limitless.”
“It is big. It’s very big.”
“Big doesn’t even sum it up, right? That word big is so small.”
—
“I want to be a good person.”
—
~*~
18. Almost Famous
Two words: Tiny Dancer. That’s one of the biggest scene of any Hollywood film, and it belongs to Cameron Crowe, just like Lloyd Dobler and the radio over his head. How does he do it–how does he make incredible movies? Well, maybe that’s because his characters are just people. Maybe the plots are really sorta believable because they’re just people doing people things. I wonder how long these movies sit inside of his head until they come out to be worked and reworked until they’re masterpieces. I wonder. This movie is altogether incredible–one of my all time favorites (duh, it’s on this list). <333!!!
—
“I AM A GOLDEN GOD!”
—
“The only true currency in this bankrupt world… is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.”
—
“FECK YOU!”
“HEY!”
“This is a house of lies!”
“Well there it is, your sister used the ‘F’ word.”
“I think she said ‘feck.’”
“What’s the difference?”
“The letter ‘u.’”
—
~*~
19. Meet Joe Black
What draws me to this movie? It certainly isn’t Brad Pitt, although he is exceptionally handsome in this movie (and shows his skill as well) because I was never influenced by his looks. It isn’t Anthony Hopkins, although he’s esteemed in Hollywood. I think it’s the multi-dimensional storytelling that takes place in the film–you have Anthony Hopkins’ character who faces death, Brad Pitt’s who is possessed by the Angel of Death, and the two sisters where (1) one receives favortism from their father in spite of her best efforts to receive approval, praise, and attention, and (2) the other’s feelings for Brad Pitt’s character who will take her father away on his birthday.
Yeah. That’s it.
—
“Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who’ll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I’m not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you’ll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love – well, you haven’t lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived.”
—
~*~
20. Bourne Supremacy
THIS MOVIE IS SO B.A.!!! I really don’t care much about Matt Damon, but Jason Bourne is incredible. I love all three of these movies and sometimes really crave them. I was raised on action flicks, so the Bourne trilogy is accepted in my house. My mom, dad, and I always watch it together if one of us starts it. It’s funny–somehow all three of us migrate to the living room. The second movie, though, is my favorite of the three. As soon as Marie dies, he goes off the deep end and really gives Langley hell, and I love every minute of it!
—
“Get some rest, Pam. You look tired.”
—
“You told me I had one month off.”
“You told me Jason Bourne was dead.”
—
“You’re in a big puddle of shit, Pam, and you don’t have the shoes for it.”
—
~*~
There you have it–my top 20 movies! I’ll let you guys know if anything should be added to this list.
100 Things, Pt. 4: 4/5
These last two posts are going to be related to movies and music. For now, I’m going to list the top twenty albums of my life. MY LIFE. Get ready for blackmailing material.
Oh, and I’m going to TRY to comment on each individual song, although that might get repetitive with one artist. I’ll do my best.
Note: This list is in no particular order, although Silverchair will always and forever be my number one.
1. Silverchair – Neon Ballroom album. They’re my all-time favorite band, and, while I love pretty much every album they’ve released (although Diorama was a bit of a musical disappointment), Neon Ballroom is the utmost. This made me a better writer and a better musician. I made it through my formative teen years with this as my soundtrack. True story. Top songs include
- Emotion Sickness – my favorite by far. I even learned it on piano BY EAR (because piano music for this song didn’t exist) to play at my senior year high school talent show. It was FUN.
- Ana’s Song – this song inspired my senior thesis in high school, as I studied anorexia as a disease needing more attention (I was going for a major in psych at the time).
- Miss You Love – so great! Such a contradictory song, much like love, much like life. I can’t get enough.
- Do You Feel The Same – this is not only a song to just blare when you’re pissed, but it is also great lyrically.
2. Damien Rice – O album. Top songs include
- I Remember – OH MY GOD. When Damien screams after Lisa’s lovely melody, it’s just heartbreaking.
- Volcano – Seriously. I wish I wrote this song. I have to play it almost every time I play piano (I like it better on piano).
- The Blower’s Daughter – This is almost not a love song. “And so it is, just like you said it would be/we both forget the breeze most of the time./And so it is, the colder water/the blower’s daughter/the pupil in denial.” It sounds, to me, like they were caught fornicating, and Damien wrote a song about his love for her–oh wait–”until I find somebody new.” That’s why I love this song. “I can’t take my eyes off of you/Until I find somebody new.” (That’s at the VERY END of the song. You have to listen for it.)
- Cold Water – This song is so sad but also hopeful–like there’s a light shining somewhere that we have to find. “Can you hear me now/or am I lost?”
3. VAST – Visual Audio Sensory Theatre album, Music for People album, and Nude album. Yeah, I listed three. VAST is one of my favorite all-time artists, second only to Silverchair. The reason I say “artist” instead of “band” for VAST is that Jon Crosby IS VAST, like Trent Reznor IS Nine Inch Nails. Top VAST songs include
- Touched (Visual Audio Sensory Theater) – This was the song that made me love VAST. I was a wee little sophomore in high school, heard this, and knew that I loved the purely inspired music that Jon Crosby created. His lyrics, on the surface, seem to be about love, but I think there’s something else there.
- Flames (Visual Audio Sensory Theater) – This song is actually quite sad because, to me, he’s telling someone how much he loves her, but he will leave her if they don’t have sex. At least, that’s MY take. The music is beautiful, which helps in the deception that this is a legit love song.
- Somewhere Else to Be (Visual Audio Sensory Theater) – “Is there somewhere else to be?/Take me in. I want out./That’s all I need.”
- Last One Alive (Music for People) – This song is one I listen to when I’m fed up! That and “Rootless Tree” by Damien Rice. It’s cathartic.
- Free (Music for People) – “You can’t tell me what to do anymore./Now I’m free!” Oh yeah. The teenage angst brigade!
- I Don’t Have Anything (Music for People) – LOVE SONG ALERT. This is legit. “Show me the places where I could forget your name./I don’t have anything except a void inside./I don’t have anything because I don’t have you.” I have to sing with this song every time it plays.
- A Better Place (Music for People) – It’s like “Last One Alive” and “I Don’t Have Anything,” I think.
- Be With Me (Nude) – I listen to this song way too much, but I can’t stop. I write to it, I sing to it, I play video games to it–it’s on almost every playlist in my iTunes music library. It’s just THAT GOOD.
4. ABBA – Gold album. Blackmail material. And yes, I’m using their greatest hits compilation, but I love it. Top songs include
- Dancing Queen (duh) – Everyone in my family listens to ABBA, at least one song or another, but this one is the family favorite. I blame my aunt, who is a disco queen. I can’t help but sing and dance when this song comes on. God help us if Guitar Hero includes it on their song list!!!
- Lay All Your Love On Me – DOOON’T GOOOO WASTING YOUR EMOOOOOOTIOOOOON! LAAAAY ALL YOUR LOOOOVE OOOON MEEEEEEE!
- Waterloo – This is my mom’s favorite, so I’ve pretty much heard it a LOT. <3
- Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) – I love the intro and the music to this song.
5. U2 – The Best of 1980-1990 album. Yes, another greatest hits album! I love songs from all the albums, but not really entire albums. I love the Joshua Tree, but my top songs are really the ones that are singles. Let’s be honeset. Top songs include:
- Where the Streets Have No Name – FAVORITE U2 SONG OF ALL TIME. I can’t get enough. I want to play and sing this song over and over.
- With or Without You – I just LOVE this song. “And you give yourself away.” So good!
- Pride (In the Name of Love) – I remember the first time I heard this song, I nearly cried.
6. Coldplay – A Rush of Blood to the Head album. Yes, I love other Coldplay albums, but this one is my favorite. I don’t thiink they’ve quite achieved musical greatness since this album, but that’s just my view. Side note: all of the songs I’m about to list are songs that I love to play on piano. Coldplay pretty much dominates my repetoire, outside of LotR music and Canon in D. Ha. OK. Enough of that. Top songs include
- Amsterdam – favorite on the entire album. This song, to me, sings of hope in spite of despair because of love.
- The Scientist – of course I love this song. It’s so bloody sad! I’m a sucker for sad songs, seriously. They feel for us, allow us to dive deep into the underbelly so that we can come up again. This song is especially brilliant–I always think of someone trying to move outside of logic to embrace concept–like he’s too left-brained for his own good, and now that science doesn’t seem to be effective, he doesn’t know what to do so he “goes back to the start,” even though “questions of science and progress do not speak as loud as my heart.” Sigh. LOOOOVE!
- A Rush of Blood to the Head – this song is so incredible. “I’ll buy a gun and start a war if you can tell me something worth fighting for.” The world is crumbling.
- A Warning Sign – This is a great love song. I can’t help but sing this whenever it’s played.
7. Stabbing Westward – Darkest Days album. This was the pique of my goth phase, and Stabbing Westward was an incredible musical addition to my burgeoning rocknroll library. In high school (and still now), I never listened to Slipknot, Mudvayne, or Insane Clown Posse–to me, that wasn’t music. Stabbing Westward, though, was just as hardcore as all of those bands who can’t seem to resist playing dress up, and their music was MUSIC. Top songs include
- Save Yourself – This song was such a great, cathartic way of saying “Screw you,” especially to a boyfriend I had who was a human-shaped leech.
- Haunting Me – Such a great song! “Why are you haunting me? Why can’t I let you go?” I wrote many a short story to this song.
- Sometimes It Hurts – Pretty much like “Haunting Me,” it’s a great writing song.
- Waking Up Beside You – I love how Chris Hall sings this song. He screams with his heart here–it sounds like he’s crying. I can’t help but love it (see Damien Rice – I Remember).
8. Sarah McLachlan – Surfacing album. Talk about emotional teen years with puberty, boys, and self-discovery! This album pretty much became the soundtrack to the emotional, heart-invested aspects of my youth. Even today, I find inspiration when I’m listening, either to create a song (Sarah as helped me write several songs) or work on a story. Brilliant. Top songs include
- Building A Mystery – A lot of people think this song bashes Christianity as a religion, which I think it does (especially since Sarah McLachlan isn’t exactly a Christian herself, from what I can gather), but it doesn’t exclude all other religions in its rant. It’s just an incredible song.
- Adia – SO GOOD. “We are born innocent, believe me Adia.” It reminds me of “The Scientist” in that regard–going back to the start.
- Angel – I still sing this song, play it, write to it, and sometimes cry when it plays on those abused animal commercials. (OK. Not “sometimes.” I always cry. “Angel” + abused animals = blubbering Lynz.) This song is just THAT INCREDIBLE. One of her all-time best.
- Sweet Surrender – I love singing to this song, swaying to it, cleaning to it–everything.
9. Imogen Heap – Speak for Yourself album. She was a college discovery and became one of the most-played artists in my iTunes library. I love her music, I love her voice, I love her lyrics. I can’t get enough. Top songs include
- The Moment I Said It – This song is incredible. It’s sad, haunted, and just plain good. I can’t get enough.
- The Walk – What I love about this song is that it’s really unhappy but with an upbeat, happy melody. Quite deceiving!
- Closing In – To me, this song says, “Put up or shut up.” I like her gumption.
- Hide & Seek – Of course I love this song. There is no music, only her singing and harmonizing with herself. She’s an incredible artist. I’ve written a lot with this song playing in the background.
_-_www.torrentazos.com.jpg)
10. Lisa Loeb – The Very Best of Lisa Loeb album. Yeah, I’m really good with the greatest hits albums, but this one has every Lisa Loeb song that I adore all on one disc! It really can’t get much easier than that. Lisa Loeb was in my music library when I was young and “Stay” was released. I’ve always looked to her and to Gwen Stefani as my female role models because they didn’t look like everyone else. Hey, remember my horn-rimmed glasses? People would tell me that I looked like Lisa Loeb, especially when I played guitar. SWEET. OK. Top songs include
- Stay – DUH. This song is just awesome. I love singing this song every time I pick up my guitar.
- Sandalwood – This has to be one of my all-time favorite love songs ever written. It’s honest without being schmultzy. It’s passionate without being vulgar. It’s just BEAUTIFUL.
- Do You Sleep? – Ha! “Well I don’t know and I don’t care if I ever see you again.” YES. That’s why I love this song. It’s such a great and powerful “screw you” to someone you don’t want to ever interact with again.
- Falling In Love – This song, to me, is very sad but also very beautiful. It’s a love that is superficially requited but lacks depth and fullness in perfection. They’re flawed, but they’re still together. It’s hopeful, in that sense, but still melancholic.
11. No Doubt – Tragic Kingdom album. Ska music at its finest, although I’m not the utmost authority on ska. In fact, No Doubt was really the only ska band I listened to. I couldn’t have a top albums list without this one, especially since I still play almost every song from this album. Top songs include
- Sunday Morning – This is my favorite song from the album. I love it!! I dance to it, even if I’m sitting down. It was also amazing live. No Doubt puts on a great show.
- Spiderwebs – Fact: I’ve always wanted this song as my voicemail message. “Sorry, I’m not home right now. I’m walking into spiderwebs. Leave a message, and I’ll call you back.” Yeah, I’m wearing my geek on my sleeve again.
- Excuse Me Mr. – This song is just FUN. <3
- Just a Girl – This made me stronger as a woman. No, I’m lying. This song made me DANCE.
12. Portishead – Dummy album. This album may seem random, given the list you’ve been reading, but this truly is one of my all-time favorites. I can’t get enough–it’s eerie, jazzy, and dark…everything I love! Well, at least for this album. If you don’t have this album in your musical library, remedy that STAT. It deserves your undivided attention. Top songs include
- Glory Box – “From this time, unchained/We’re all looking at a different picture/through this new frame of mind./A thousand flowers could bloom.” LOVE! Also, “Give me a reason to love you./Give me a reason to be a woman./I just wanna be a woman.” Her voice is incredible–so much soul and heart! This song is number one.
- Wandering Star – This song is tied for number one. I love it. It’s inspired my novel, to be honest, along with The Picture of Dorian Gray also yielding inspiration. Hey, isn’t it the title of my blog, too? Hm. It MUST be awesome, them. “Wandering stars/for whom is reserved/the blackness of darkness forever.”
- Sour Times – Again, it’s just GOOD.
- Numb – Yeah. Again. Good.
13. Muse – Absolution and Black Holes and Revelations albums. Yeah, Muse gets two also because the songs I love on both albums are noteworthy. This is going to make me sound like a music snob, but I loved Muse before they became this whirlwind (and before Stephenie Meyer used them to help her write her sparkly vampires). I have to give Meyer props, though, for her good taste in music. I do enjoy the playlists she’s posted on her website. I think she and I could be friends outside the realm of writing. But this isn’t a Twilight rant, so let’s get right down to it. Top songs include
- Apocalypse Please (Absolution) – Are you kidding me? This song is AWESOME. The driving piano, the screaming voice, the hectic lyrics–what’s not to love? Plus it’s SO FUN to break out on piano. It’s very liberating when you feel like a rockstar while sitting on a piano bench.
- Sing for Absolution (Absolution) – This song is obsessive, passionate, and sorta creepy. Nevertheless, it’s beautiful.
- Hysteria (Absolution) – The bass player for Muse is unparalleled, I don’t care what you say. I have never been so impressed with someone who plays what is seen as the non-musician’s instrument (face it, most rock bass players are the bass player because they can’t do anything else). He takes the bass and makes it worth your while as a musician. I have a lot of respect for the instrument (and the player) because of this band.
- Endlessly (Absolution) – It’s a great love song without being mushy. <3
- Map of the Problematique (Black Holes and Revelations) – INCREDIBLE. This song makes me want to be a drummer. I can’t get enough. It’s my favorite from BH&R, by far.
- Starlight (Black Holes and Revelations) – It’s just a great song! It’s a great song to listen to while you’re driving.
- Knights of Cydonia (Black Holes and Revelations) – Of course I love this song. “NO ONE’S GONNA TAKE ME ALIIIIIIVE!” Hell. Yes.
- Assassin (Black Holes and Revelations) – I have to admit that I liked this song when I bought the album, but I didn’t LOVE IT until Guitar Hero: World Tour. This song is a BAMF.
14. Incubus – Make Yourself album. I can’t help but love Incubus (mostly their old stuff…well, mostly their Make Yourself stuff), and this album was constantly playing in my CD player. Top songs include
- Pardon Me – DUH. This song is incredible. I love everything about this song–the singing, the turntables (that aren’t overpowering), the driving guitar–everything.
- Stellar – I’m not going to be lame and say that this song is stellar–wait, I just did. What made me love this song more than anything else was the lyric, “I will hold you close if you’re afraid of heights.” I found that sweet and mushy and all that good stuff, and I fell in love. <3
- The Warmth – Yeah! This song gets me jazzed.
- I Miss You – This was one of the first truly intimate songs I’d ever heard growing up (another one was Lisa Loeb’s “Sandalwood”), and I couldn’t help but love it.
15. Ryan Adams – Heartbreaker album. SO GOOD. Ryan Adams is infreakingcredible. I can’t get enough of his music. All thanks to a little Cameron Crowe movie called Elizabethtown. I’d like to think Cameron Crowe has impecible taste in music, but he is married to Nancy Wilson, one of the greatest female rockstars of our time who undoubtedly helps her husband in selecting great music. Anyway, top Adams songs include
- Come Pick Me Up – God, I put this song on repeat. This makes me think of what it could be like being in love with someone who’s difficult to reach or bad for your soul, but you can’t stop the way you feel about them. There’s hope there, but there’s also fear. <3
- To Be Young (Is To Be Sad, Is To Be High) – This song is so fun to sing to in the car, especially with his “One! Two! One–whoo!” at the beginning.
- My Winding Wheel – I know, I know, this sounds like a country song, but Ryan Adams is not just some country artist. He’s incredible.
- My Sweet Carolina – See “My Winding Wheel” for comment.
16. Duran Duran – Duran Duran [The Wedding Album]. SO GOOD. This album was one of the first I remember listening to completely in my young childhood (and by “young,” I mean I was around the age of eight). It was this album and Ace of Base’s “The Sign” (I know–a lot more about me is making so much sense, right?). Top songs include
- Come Undone – This has always been my #1 favorite Duran Duran song. It’s incredible–Simon Le Bon’s singing, John Taylor’s guitar–all of it. Even though the music video had water, I always heard water in the music, and it made me think of someone trying to swim to the surface to breathe. Sigh. Much love.
- Too Much Information – I can’t help it. I’m a nerd. I love this song.
- Ordinary World – I think everyone loves this song (at least, I hope so). It’s the primary single still played on the radio. Other than its popularity, it’s just a great song.
17. Collective Soul – 7even Year Itch album. ANOTHER GREATEST HITS. Sue me. I love Collective Soul, and this album has all of my favorites on it. So there. Top songs include
- Shine – DUH I LOVE THIS SONG. I still rock out to this song. I learned to play it on guitar when I was still learning what chords were. This is one of my top 10 all time favorite songs ever. Hell. Yes.
- Run – I used to repeat this song all the time when I was writing. It’s a great song to mellow you out and get you thinking and creating.
- The World I Know – This has to be my second favorite Collective Soul song. I can’t get enough.
- Precious Declaration – HUZZAH! This is just GREAT. Rock out!
- Gel – This song is fun. I like fun.
18. Abandoned Pools – Humanistic album. They only had one hit (The Remedy), and even that wasn’t a smash, but I loved this album in high school. It’s really creative with upbeat music and melancholic lyrics or with driving music and matching lyrics. I wish more people liked them! Top songs include
- The Remedy – “You can be the remedy/And I can be the enemy/And we can go as live as nothing/And you can be the wanna/And I can be the remedy/And we can go to hell for all I care.” Yeah. Awesome.
- Mercy Kiss – “I don’t wanna be your mercy kiss!” I love it!!!
- Ruin Your Life – Yeah. Haha. It’s good.
- Fluoriscein – This is my FAVORITE song from the album. It’s so great–a punch in the gut. <3
19. Linkin Park – Meteora album. BLACKMAIL MATERIAL. I know, I know. I can’t help it, though. I love everything about this CD, even the music videos that went to these songs (especially “Breaking the Habit”). My geekdom has been officially sealed. Sigh. I’m not even going to elaborate each song for you guys. I know you must be cracking up laughing at this revelation. As such, I’ll simply list the songs from this album that I love. Top songs include
- Don’t Stay
- Lying From You
- Faint
- Breaking the Habit (the music video for this AWESOME. See below.)
20. Hanson – This Time Around album. What a way to end a stream of awesomeness. I’ve loved Hanson since Day 1, and I love them still. Their music is SO GOOD–lyrics, music, everything. Even if Taylor Hanson is a baby-making machine (he’s my age and the father of four–count ‘em–FOUR children). Top songs include
- This Time Around (This Time Around) – Yeah, this is their “we’re awesome” song, prove that they can move beyound “MMMBop” fame. Whatever. I still like it.
- Runaway Run (This Time Around) – Cheesy pop goodness! Mmm, delicious!
- Save Me (This Time Around) – This is a sweet song. You can’t convince me otherwise.
- Love Song (This Time Around) – I can’t get enough of this song. It’s so good. I love songs where Isaac sings. I’ve always loved his voice over Taylor’s.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT. Twenty (plus) of my favorite albums of all time. Now that I’ve officially reached geekdom, I’ll quietly conclude this post with another of my all-time favorite music videos. Be prepared for greatness.
100 Things, Pt. 3: 3/5
Since I listed twenty things that I LOVE, let’s just complete the dichotomy. Here are twenty things that I HATE.
1. Spiders. If I see one in my house, I really can’t let it live, especially if it’s a baby spider. I imagine it growing to be like the giant poisonous monsters from the movie Arachnophobia and I pull out all the stops. (p/s That movie is still with me, almost ten years later. Shudder.)
2. Terrible writing and bad heroines *coughbellaswancough*.
Side note: I’m reading Libba Bray’s A Great and Terrible Beauty, and, although it is set in PRESENT TENSE (buh!) her lead heroine is pretty strong (finally)! I recommend it. I’m almost finished if anyone wants to read my copy.
3. Mayonaisse. Or any other condiment that isn’t ketchup (I include salad dressing in this statement. I loathe salad dressing.)
4. Getting cat calls at my local gas station. Nothing is more demeaning that Polk City’s finest trying to get my attention in the worst possible sense of the word. (Why can’t nice guys be so forward without being so vulgar–like asking for my name, noting a few superficial interests [i.e. if I'm reading/writing, the band on my shirt, my Converse shoes, etc] and ask me what flavor of Starbucks coffee I enjoy the most? Is it so bloody hard? Sigh.)
5. People who assume that they know more than I do, whether or not it’s due to my hair color. (Although, I ADORE the looks on their faces when I tell them that I have a Master’s. Delicious.)
6. Writer’s Block. Talk about the utmost feeling of uselessness when you sit in front of a computer and (1) you can’t think of ANYTHING to write, (2) you write a ton, but it’s all CRAP, and (3) you’re mere seconds from scrapping an entire project and starting over (something I’ve done with my novel at least twice).
7. When people think that knowing/quoting Shakespeare means that you’re well-read. Nope. That just means that you went to high school.
8. Those who are holier than thou, especially when they judge music. No, I’m not going to hell because I listen to Tool.
9. Anyone who sees fit to disparage me because of my political standing (he shall remain nameless). Screw you, pal. At least I can think for myself.
10. When people tell a joke, a pun, or a clever aside and then EXPLAIN IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER when no one asks what it means. I want to tell them that those who deserve to get the joke will appreciate it.
11. How technologically dependent kids are nowadays. Sure, I go on the internet a lot, but I can read a book without having someone make it into a movie, illustrate it, explain it visually, etc. It’s not that they’re stupid (just the opposite, actually), but they learn so much differently now because (1) they are used to RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW convenience, (2) they see things in pictures more than they do in words, and (3) their verbal and written communication skills are in the toilet.
12. Black coffee. I just can’t drink it.
13. “You won’t be pursued unless you look like Britney Spears.” I’m still trying to forgive the walking hard-on that shared that precious gem with me.
14. Funny looks from people when I tell them that I’m writing a fantasy series.
15. Anyone who disparages Severus Snape. That will not be tolerated.
16. Asparagus. Disgusting.
17. Wimpy vampires. Sigh.
18. Polk City.
19. Prejudice, close-mindedness, pompousness, ignorance, etc, etc, etc.
20. Bees.
You can probably tell that I struggled there at the end. Actually, I strugged after number seven. It took me far to long to write this post.
Funny Anecdote: I always manage to meet the nicest (albeit sometimes strangest) people in public places. Yesterday I went to see Half-Blood Prince for a matinee (my second viewing), and I sat next to this middle-aged couple who immediately began talking with me about the series, this movie in particular, and their children. Long story (and I mean it when I say “long story”) short, their son and daughter-in-law are both some form of English professors in Philadelphia, and the man called his son a communist. I think he meant it, but I still laughed jovially. I wondered to myself whether the dad had helped influence his son or if his comment was meant to show his disapproving paternal way of thinking. “I call him my little commy,” he said. Again, I laughed.
It’s official.
My thesis is DONE.
Life is a journey.
Throw away your compass.
Recent entry
- 2011-12-19
- Warm Wishes
- 2011-05-03
- A Letter Unsent
- 2010-06-04
- Writing.
- 2010-05-09
- Life: Standing Still. I’m cursed.
- 2010-03-04
- Reunion Post.
